Well, got back few days ago from kota kinabalu. Theres a city there but the main objective was to be there with some friends to climb the dam mountain. Thoughts? Dont think i'm ever doing it again. Unless my dad wants me to climb with him. Then I guess I might...
Its really cold up there.
Other than that we also spent a day river rafting. Actually the river rafting took about an hour or so and lunch after that another hour but the transport to and fro took waaaay longer. I'd say its at least 4 hours on each end. So incredibly, we travelled 8 hrs for a 2-3 hr long activity. Haha. But at least the transport was provided for by the rafting people. So we went in a car from our backpackers, to... a train station! To take a the train TO the river where we were suppose to raft. Imagine that! Haha I must say the journey there was rather cool as well. See lotsa people, even the train was rather cute. I've never seen a one carriage train before. The engine wasn even seperated. Dam cute. haha.
I still think about her sometimes. Infact, I think about her most of the time. Havent really been talking to other people about this anymore. Sometimes, I really wish for someone to talk to, but then I realise I dont know what is there to talk about. I'll just be repeating the same thing over and over, and it wont amount to anything. Maybe piss people off, but thats about it. And thats the thing, im quite afraid that i'll just become this nuisance and scare my friends away =x
I know im probably worrying too much on that part, and I should have more faith in my friends. haha. But its just that I dont think I'll have very much to say except that I miss her very much. And I dont really know where to start especially with friends who never knew her.
By now I've worked through this whole episode with all the logic I can think of to help me through: "shes really happy", "we never would've made it very far" stuff like that and I do really believe it. I do really believe that shes happy, much happier than I could make her. But all this logic, all of this sorting my thoughts out can not, make me stop thinking of her. Even when there were times where I DID temporarily let her float off my mind, something I see, or someone I meet will come along and just bring back her image into my head all over again. Bringing me back to square 1.
Recently really feel like singing k. I sing at home alot nowadays and I feel it helps relieve me in some ways. But cant seem to find people to sing with me. My mates from gess dont take well to the idea of k, and PD family either seems busy or overseas, or both.
I know I really should get a job. Something to do, something to wake up to. So I can stop letting my mind wander around. My friend actually asked me if I wanted to design some furniture for her, so if my designs get used by her clients then she will pay me accordingly. She didn have to do that, but she did cos she was trying to help so im really thankful to her for even extending that offer. Im going to try doing that for tomorrow. Maybe go out to a starbucks with my sketchbook or smth. But see the thing about design, the first thing you have to do, is to let your mind wander. Haha. But we'll see how that turns out.
I know I should go into more detail about kinabalu, its just bits and pieces everywhere but I think i'll stop for now. Maybe another post another time. See if the furniture thing works out ok. Hopefully i'll be able to make some stuff and add that to my portfolio as well.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Im gonna talk about the girl now. Not really finished with the moving house part yet but what the heck feel like talking bout this now. haha.
Where to begin? Well I suppose I should give a description of how she came along into my life? She was my classmate from Lasalle. There. haha. But ok, shes from indonesia and the first year that i was into my course, I didn really know her well. Infact back then I was trying to get over a few problems, didn really have time to notice girls. Plus, the fact that she was from indo kinda just blocked me away cos most of the time i didn understand what they were saying. Despite this I had some friends who started pushing us together and I guess that was when I started noticing her. And the more I noticed her, the more I started to get attracted to her magnetic personality.
I wouldn say she was the prettiest girl in class, no. But she always brought this irresistible energy to the class, and when shes around the whole class seems to light up with her pranks and screaming and bubbly personality. Against possible embarrassment, I want to say, she lit up my life and made it so much more pleasant everyday. Needless to say, I grew really fond of having this shining ball of energy around me all the time.
Ofcourse, besides being such a bubbly girl, she has other sides as well. One of them is when shes taking care of someone who is hurt or sick. Ofcourse, my entire class helps out one another all the time but I see her ironically as one of the most mature of the lot when it comes to handling human relations. Which is what really impressed me as well. How could someone so playful and cheerful be at the same time the most mature of the lot.
So that was basically how I gradually but surely fell for this girl. Continue in next post! Maybe I'll try to describe in more chronological order next time.
Where to begin? Well I suppose I should give a description of how she came along into my life? She was my classmate from Lasalle. There. haha. But ok, shes from indonesia and the first year that i was into my course, I didn really know her well. Infact back then I was trying to get over a few problems, didn really have time to notice girls. Plus, the fact that she was from indo kinda just blocked me away cos most of the time i didn understand what they were saying. Despite this I had some friends who started pushing us together and I guess that was when I started noticing her. And the more I noticed her, the more I started to get attracted to her magnetic personality.
I wouldn say she was the prettiest girl in class, no. But she always brought this irresistible energy to the class, and when shes around the whole class seems to light up with her pranks and screaming and bubbly personality. Against possible embarrassment, I want to say, she lit up my life and made it so much more pleasant everyday. Needless to say, I grew really fond of having this shining ball of energy around me all the time.
Ofcourse, besides being such a bubbly girl, she has other sides as well. One of them is when shes taking care of someone who is hurt or sick. Ofcourse, my entire class helps out one another all the time but I see her ironically as one of the most mature of the lot when it comes to handling human relations. Which is what really impressed me as well. How could someone so playful and cheerful be at the same time the most mature of the lot.
So that was basically how I gradually but surely fell for this girl. Continue in next post! Maybe I'll try to describe in more chronological order next time.
SUNDAY, MARCH 28, 2010 - That was how long ago my last post was. More than 2 years ago. Yup. Almost forgot bout this place. I guess there were really too many other things to do. And also with facebook, I already kinda have my life up on the net, so blogging seemed... redundant.
Of course I dont really publish everything thats on my mind on facebook, so I think this here blog may just be able to find a niche for itself. Seems alot more private anyways. Kinda have the image of an abandoned lodge in the woods in my head. Its old, its not as high tech as some other city dwelling but its so much more private. I could streak naked in the abandoned lodge and nobody's gonna see or care. Im not suggesting that im going to streak naked in this blog, figuritively or otherwise, but I guess I can be more open about whats on my mind.
So really, whats on my mind these days?
Well besides computer games, 3 things really.
A girl.
Moving house.
My future.
I think i'll start bottom up.
My future. I didn say "looking for a job" because I have come to realize that I don't want to just be looking for any other job and just work blindly for the 30-40 years. I find myself asking the question, "Where do you want to be in 5 years?" alot and I feel that whatever I choose to do now, should be working towards that goal in 5 years. But WHAT EXACTLY do I want to achieve 5 years down the road? I have yet to figure that out definitively. The rough idea is that...
Dare I say it? I want to start my own company. Maybe work it out among a few friends. I guess I should start with why I entered product design in the first place.
For me, I feel that as a designer, I would be proud if something I designed could permeate the lives of others and become something that is irreplaceable or something that adds that little bit of joy into their lives. I feel that the choices of the objects that we acquire tell a story about who we are and to know that something of my hand could bring joy into someone else's life, that would bring me the most satisfaction.
So for that to work, I realize that the chances of it happening while working under someone else will be rather slim. Because one usually ends up following the "vision" of a client or the boss. Hence, I have to work in an environment where there isnt really a boss. Hence the idea of wanting to start my own thing. I'm sure many creative professionals will at some point or another think in this direction as well.
So thats my goal I guess. 5 years. Start my own company? Im really gonna look like an ass if im still working a 9-5 5 years later, or worse, still bumming around. But i'll take my chances, its not like this blog has a viewership of a million anyway. Plus, I guess it really helps when you say out your goals instead of just keeping them in your head and think MAYBE I'll do it.
So right now, what I need is to acquire actual design experience in the working world. So I guess I wont mind working for less pay as long as I get to learn how things work. Not like designers get paid a great deal in the first place. Bleah.
I've sent emails to Razer, expressing my enthusiasm, but they were not looking to hire. Razer is one company which I feel especially inclined to join because firstly, they make gaming peripherals. And gaming has been a huge part of my adolescent life. I'm a geek. And to be able to contribute back to the gaming community in this way, really means quite abit to me. Secondly, Razer was built on the notion of designing based on consumer feedbacks. Which is an idea that I strongly support. I feel that the community should be the ones voicing out what they like and what they dont and the design team should be the ones realising these likes. So if anything, I feel that the system from which Razer acquires their feedback would be something worth learning about.
Other than that, I cant seem to find any companies that I would REALLY want to join. I guess I'll have to probably look for other jobs in the meantime, and keep searching as I work?
Moving House.
If you havent heard, I'll be shifting away from my current place soon... Its the place where I grew up in and it has sheltered me for a good 17 years. I have many memories here, memories of growing up, memories of my mom... To think that I would have to leave this place one day and on top of that under such unusual circumstances.
Well I guess it all started with the passing of my mom. It was a really bad time for me then but SOMEHOW I got over it. I'm not someone particularly strong or anything but, I guess when you have no choice but to be strong, you will be strong. Still it came as a HUGE shocker to me when my dad told us around chinese new year, that he got himself a girlfriend. My mom passed away in september mind you. And apparently he got to know her 2 months after mom passed away. AND shes from china. AND shes got a daughter. Naturally, my sister and I were really upset by his, should I say "cold hearted" and frankly rather stupid decision.
Fast forward to today, my dad is already married to the chinese lady and for me well... I have changed my point of view. Its not that I have become close with the mother and daughter, infact I know just as much about them as I did 3 years ago, maybe just a little more. Thats why, I told myself that I should not be judging them based on assumptions and conclusions that I've made by myself. But more importantly, this is was my dad wants. And when it comes down to it all, I want my dad to be happy. So for his sake, I hope that all my prior assumptions were wrong, and that he would be happy with his decisions.
My sister on the other hand, can not see from this point of view. The very sight of the lady irks her to no end(it irritates me to a certain extent as well, but not as much). So when my dad decided that he wanted them to stay with him i.e move into the house, the notion was met with much resistance. Hell, his whole fiasco was met with much resistance and objection but he still went ahead anyways. He just waited abit longer and hoped the resistance wouldn be there anymore.
Point is, my sis made herself very clear that she could NEVER stay under the same roof as the lady and her daughter. My dad however, wants to live with his new wife. So we eventually came to the conclusion that we needed to sell the place. Sell the place and my dad will buy a smaller place for his new family while my sis and I will get half of the amount from the sales to help finance our own place next time. At least in this way, we separate before any bad blood occurs and can still meet up for dinner and the like...
Ok its getting rather late. Feeling quite sleepy already. So i'll finish this up in another post. Maybe i'll be talking bout the girl in the next post too. Haha.
Of course I dont really publish everything thats on my mind on facebook, so I think this here blog may just be able to find a niche for itself. Seems alot more private anyways. Kinda have the image of an abandoned lodge in the woods in my head. Its old, its not as high tech as some other city dwelling but its so much more private. I could streak naked in the abandoned lodge and nobody's gonna see or care. Im not suggesting that im going to streak naked in this blog, figuritively or otherwise, but I guess I can be more open about whats on my mind.
So really, whats on my mind these days?
Well besides computer games, 3 things really.
A girl.
Moving house.
My future.
I think i'll start bottom up.
My future. I didn say "looking for a job" because I have come to realize that I don't want to just be looking for any other job and just work blindly for the 30-40 years. I find myself asking the question, "Where do you want to be in 5 years?" alot and I feel that whatever I choose to do now, should be working towards that goal in 5 years. But WHAT EXACTLY do I want to achieve 5 years down the road? I have yet to figure that out definitively. The rough idea is that...
Dare I say it? I want to start my own company. Maybe work it out among a few friends. I guess I should start with why I entered product design in the first place.
For me, I feel that as a designer, I would be proud if something I designed could permeate the lives of others and become something that is irreplaceable or something that adds that little bit of joy into their lives. I feel that the choices of the objects that we acquire tell a story about who we are and to know that something of my hand could bring joy into someone else's life, that would bring me the most satisfaction.
So for that to work, I realize that the chances of it happening while working under someone else will be rather slim. Because one usually ends up following the "vision" of a client or the boss. Hence, I have to work in an environment where there isnt really a boss. Hence the idea of wanting to start my own thing. I'm sure many creative professionals will at some point or another think in this direction as well.
So thats my goal I guess. 5 years. Start my own company? Im really gonna look like an ass if im still working a 9-5 5 years later, or worse, still bumming around. But i'll take my chances, its not like this blog has a viewership of a million anyway. Plus, I guess it really helps when you say out your goals instead of just keeping them in your head and think MAYBE I'll do it.
So right now, what I need is to acquire actual design experience in the working world. So I guess I wont mind working for less pay as long as I get to learn how things work. Not like designers get paid a great deal in the first place. Bleah.
I've sent emails to Razer, expressing my enthusiasm, but they were not looking to hire. Razer is one company which I feel especially inclined to join because firstly, they make gaming peripherals. And gaming has been a huge part of my adolescent life. I'm a geek. And to be able to contribute back to the gaming community in this way, really means quite abit to me. Secondly, Razer was built on the notion of designing based on consumer feedbacks. Which is an idea that I strongly support. I feel that the community should be the ones voicing out what they like and what they dont and the design team should be the ones realising these likes. So if anything, I feel that the system from which Razer acquires their feedback would be something worth learning about.
Other than that, I cant seem to find any companies that I would REALLY want to join. I guess I'll have to probably look for other jobs in the meantime, and keep searching as I work?
Moving House.
If you havent heard, I'll be shifting away from my current place soon... Its the place where I grew up in and it has sheltered me for a good 17 years. I have many memories here, memories of growing up, memories of my mom... To think that I would have to leave this place one day and on top of that under such unusual circumstances.
Well I guess it all started with the passing of my mom. It was a really bad time for me then but SOMEHOW I got over it. I'm not someone particularly strong or anything but, I guess when you have no choice but to be strong, you will be strong. Still it came as a HUGE shocker to me when my dad told us around chinese new year, that he got himself a girlfriend. My mom passed away in september mind you. And apparently he got to know her 2 months after mom passed away. AND shes from china. AND shes got a daughter. Naturally, my sister and I were really upset by his, should I say "cold hearted" and frankly rather stupid decision.
Fast forward to today, my dad is already married to the chinese lady and for me well... I have changed my point of view. Its not that I have become close with the mother and daughter, infact I know just as much about them as I did 3 years ago, maybe just a little more. Thats why, I told myself that I should not be judging them based on assumptions and conclusions that I've made by myself. But more importantly, this is was my dad wants. And when it comes down to it all, I want my dad to be happy. So for his sake, I hope that all my prior assumptions were wrong, and that he would be happy with his decisions.
My sister on the other hand, can not see from this point of view. The very sight of the lady irks her to no end(it irritates me to a certain extent as well, but not as much). So when my dad decided that he wanted them to stay with him i.e move into the house, the notion was met with much resistance. Hell, his whole fiasco was met with much resistance and objection but he still went ahead anyways. He just waited abit longer and hoped the resistance wouldn be there anymore.
Point is, my sis made herself very clear that she could NEVER stay under the same roof as the lady and her daughter. My dad however, wants to live with his new wife. So we eventually came to the conclusion that we needed to sell the place. Sell the place and my dad will buy a smaller place for his new family while my sis and I will get half of the amount from the sales to help finance our own place next time. At least in this way, we separate before any bad blood occurs and can still meet up for dinner and the like...
Ok its getting rather late. Feeling quite sleepy already. So i'll finish this up in another post. Maybe i'll be talking bout the girl in the next post too. Haha.
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