SUNDAY, MARCH 28, 2010 - That was how long ago my last post was. More than 2 years ago. Yup. Almost forgot bout this place. I guess there were really too many other things to do. And also with facebook, I already kinda have my life up on the net, so blogging seemed... redundant.


Of course I dont really publish everything thats on my mind on facebook, so I think this here blog may just be able to find a niche for itself. Seems alot more private anyways. Kinda have the image of an abandoned lodge in the woods in my head. Its old, its not as high tech as some other city dwelling but its so much more private. I could streak naked in the abandoned lodge and nobody's gonna see or care. Im not suggesting that im going to streak naked in this blog, figuritively or otherwise, but I guess I can be more open about whats on my mind.


So really, whats on my mind these days?


Well besides computer games, 3 things really.

A girl.
Moving house.
My future.

I think i'll start bottom up.

My future. I didn say "looking for a job" because I have come to realize that I don't want to just be looking for any other job and just work blindly for the 30-40 years. I find myself asking the question, "Where do you want to be in 5 years?" alot and I feel that whatever I choose to do now, should be working towards that goal in 5 years. But WHAT EXACTLY do I want to achieve 5 years down the road? I have yet to figure that out definitively. The rough idea is that...

Dare I say it? I want to start my own company. Maybe work it out among a few friends. I guess I should start with why I entered product design in the first place. 


For me, I feel that as a designer, I would be proud if something I designed could permeate the lives of others and become something that is irreplaceable or something that adds that little bit of joy into their lives. I feel that the choices of the objects that we acquire tell a story about who we are and to know that something of my hand could bring joy into someone else's life, that would bring me the most satisfaction.


So for that to work, I realize that the chances of it happening while working under someone else will be rather slim. Because one usually ends up following the "vision" of a client or the boss. Hence, I have to work in an environment where there isnt really a boss. Hence the idea of wanting to start my own thing. I'm sure many creative professionals will at some point or another think in this direction as well.


So thats my goal I guess. 5 years. Start my own company? Im really gonna look like an ass if im still working a 9-5 5 years later, or worse, still bumming around. But i'll take my chances, its not like this blog has a viewership of a million anyway. Plus, I guess it really helps when you say out your goals instead of just keeping them in your head and think MAYBE I'll do it.


So right now, what I need is to acquire actual design experience in the working world. So I guess I wont mind working for less pay as long as I get to learn how things work. Not like designers get paid a great deal in the first place. Bleah.


I've sent emails to Razer, expressing my enthusiasm, but they were not looking to hire. Razer is one company which I feel especially inclined to join because firstly, they make gaming peripherals. And gaming has been a huge part of my adolescent life. I'm a geek. And to be able to contribute back to the gaming community in this way, really means quite abit to me. Secondly, Razer was built on the notion of designing based on consumer feedbacks. Which is an idea that I strongly support. I feel that the community should be the ones voicing out what they like and what they dont and the design team should be the ones realising these likes. So if anything, I feel that the system from which Razer acquires their feedback would be something worth learning about.


Other than that, I cant seem to find any companies that I would REALLY want to join. I guess I'll have to probably look for other jobs in the meantime, and keep searching as I work?




Moving House.

If you havent heard, I'll be shifting away from my current place soon... Its the place where I grew up in and it has sheltered me for a good 17 years. I have many memories here, memories of growing up, memories of my mom... To think that I would have to leave this place one day and on top of that under such unusual circumstances.

Well I guess it all started with the passing of my mom. It was a really bad time for me then but SOMEHOW I got over it. I'm not someone particularly strong or anything but, I guess when you have no choice but to be strong, you will be strong. Still it came as a HUGE shocker to me when my dad told us around chinese new year, that he got himself a girlfriend. My mom passed away in september mind you. And apparently he got to know her 2 months after mom passed away. AND shes from china. AND shes got a daughter. Naturally, my sister and I were really upset by his, should I say "cold hearted" and frankly rather stupid decision.


Fast forward to today, my dad is already married to the chinese lady and for me well... I have changed my point of view. Its not that I have become close with the mother and daughter, infact I know just as much about them as I did 3 years ago, maybe just a little more. Thats why, I told myself that I should not be judging them based on assumptions and conclusions that I've made by myself. But more importantly, this is was my dad wants. And when it comes down to it all, I want my dad to be happy. So for his sake, I hope that all my prior assumptions were wrong, and that he would be happy with his decisions.


My sister on the other hand, can not see from this point of view. The very sight of the lady irks her to no end(it irritates me to a certain extent as well, but not as much). So when my dad decided that he wanted them to stay with him i.e move into the house, the notion was met with much resistance. Hell, his whole fiasco was met with much resistance and objection but he still went ahead anyways. He just waited abit longer and hoped the resistance wouldn be there anymore.


Point is, my sis made herself very clear that she could NEVER stay under the same roof as the lady and her daughter. My dad however, wants to live with his new wife. So we eventually came to the conclusion that we needed to sell the place. Sell the place and my dad will buy a smaller place for his new family while my sis and I will get half of the amount from the sales to help finance our own place next time. At least in this way, we separate before any bad blood occurs and can still meet up for dinner and the like...


Ok its getting rather late. Feeling quite sleepy already. So i'll finish this up in another post. Maybe i'll be talking bout the girl in the next post too. Haha.

~Hands In Vegetation~

OK... This blog is semi-abandoned. hahaha. Dam long since i blogged. Facebook seems to be taking over alot of "updating" especially with photo uploads. but anyhow, this seems too long to put into facebook.

Just woke up from a really weird dream...

I was trapped on top of a building(like the roof of some skyscraper) with some other people. Its sort of like a hostage situation cause the person with the key just didn wanna let us out(or rather, down) and there was media coverage and everything but for some reason we just couldn get off the building. Oh and it was raining all the time.

What kept us alive, surprisingly was not food parcels or water rations, but notes of encouragement from the public, which was sent up as pieces of paper(which floated upwards as if there were in some giant heating vent). Because of the constant rain, the paper would always end up crumply and a lil soggy when we got to it, but the contents were always heart warming. And these pieces of paper would come at intervals. Like someone collected all the notes and sent them up in batches. I remember myself saying out: "well thats the last of them. Its like nightsnack in outfield, you dont get nightsnack twice in the same night!"

This whole thing kinda played out like a movie as well because after all the drama and stuff there was like an ending song or some sorts. Just kept playing. And the lyrics were simple.

"Now you've got your hands in vegetation, hands in vegetation now."

I have no idea what that means but the tune and lyrics are stuck in my head now. Maybe i should make it into a song? haha.



Also on another note.( It might be related )

I went for a canon user gathering the other night. Organized by someone from clubsnap. It was nice to be in a huge crowd of canon users and just discuss photography in general. Best part was the studio boss brought out lenses for us to play with. =D now im poisoned by what they call the BBB virus. lol.

There was this part where they were showing the video capabilities of the 5D Mark II and it was actually a wedding procession (the "jie mei" block doors and play weird games thing". When they came to the part where the bride and groom offered tea to their parents, I sorta, teared.

So thats why i say it might be linked to that weird dream. haha. But the weird dream had other parts la. I was studying in a tertiary institute much like now and just across a small road was a secondary/jc kind of school where rules were enforced about being late. And the discipline master from that school like kicked the late comers out of the school and subsequently everyone else. So, having no where to go the students from that secondary school ran over to my school, but they got kicked out by the authority figure as well(dont ask me why they didn go have breakfast or something, they just didn). So people kept shuffling between these 2 schools and crossing this small road. Then a vehicle came into the picture and I was told the DM of the sec sch collaborated with the "DM" of my school to use create that scenario so that the vehicle would give the students a good scare and teach them a lesson in road safety.

Yea, actually theres another 1 or 2 more ( Yea, I KNOW. all within the same night) but i think i shall stop here for today. =)

~Update~

I know i haven really been updating and i've left a super emo entry hanging at the front page for very long. Its not that i've been emo all this while, it sorta got better after i blogged it all down. Just that recently getting busier and also im very lazy to update my blog. hehe

did some photography for sch's open house can see the pictures on my facebook page if you haven already.

Jap lessons feel even more daunting this year. So far i've only had 2 lessons and I already have alot things i dont understand especially since i've forgotten alot of things i'm suppose to already know. Was just kinda hoping that as long as i continue i'll continue learning cos if i stop going altogether then my proficiency in jap will only deteriorate. at least thats my theory. Hai... but going for lessons by myself quite boring and no one to copy notes from if i absent or anything.

Hopefully this yr my teacher will not keep changing. haha