Well, got back few days ago from kota kinabalu. Theres a city there but the main objective was to be there with some friends to climb the dam mountain. Thoughts? Dont think i'm ever doing it again. Unless my dad wants me to climb with him. Then I guess I might...
Its really cold up there.
Other than that we also spent a day river rafting. Actually the river rafting took about an hour or so and lunch after that another hour but the transport to and fro took waaaay longer. I'd say its at least 4 hours on each end. So incredibly, we travelled 8 hrs for a 2-3 hr long activity. Haha. But at least the transport was provided for by the rafting people. So we went in a car from our backpackers, to... a train station! To take a the train TO the river where we were suppose to raft. Imagine that! Haha I must say the journey there was rather cool as well. See lotsa people, even the train was rather cute. I've never seen a one carriage train before. The engine wasn even seperated. Dam cute. haha.
I still think about her sometimes. Infact, I think about her most of the time. Havent really been talking to other people about this anymore. Sometimes, I really wish for someone to talk to, but then I realise I dont know what is there to talk about. I'll just be repeating the same thing over and over, and it wont amount to anything. Maybe piss people off, but thats about it. And thats the thing, im quite afraid that i'll just become this nuisance and scare my friends away =x
I know im probably worrying too much on that part, and I should have more faith in my friends. haha. But its just that I dont think I'll have very much to say except that I miss her very much. And I dont really know where to start especially with friends who never knew her.
By now I've worked through this whole episode with all the logic I can think of to help me through: "shes really happy", "we never would've made it very far" stuff like that and I do really believe it. I do really believe that shes happy, much happier than I could make her. But all this logic, all of this sorting my thoughts out can not, make me stop thinking of her. Even when there were times where I DID temporarily let her float off my mind, something I see, or someone I meet will come along and just bring back her image into my head all over again. Bringing me back to square 1.
Recently really feel like singing k. I sing at home alot nowadays and I feel it helps relieve me in some ways. But cant seem to find people to sing with me. My mates from gess dont take well to the idea of k, and PD family either seems busy or overseas, or both.
I know I really should get a job. Something to do, something to wake up to. So I can stop letting my mind wander around. My friend actually asked me if I wanted to design some furniture for her, so if my designs get used by her clients then she will pay me accordingly. She didn have to do that, but she did cos she was trying to help so im really thankful to her for even extending that offer. Im going to try doing that for tomorrow. Maybe go out to a starbucks with my sketchbook or smth. But see the thing about design, the first thing you have to do, is to let your mind wander. Haha. But we'll see how that turns out.
I know I should go into more detail about kinabalu, its just bits and pieces everywhere but I think i'll stop for now. Maybe another post another time. See if the furniture thing works out ok. Hopefully i'll be able to make some stuff and add that to my portfolio as well.
